the one that got away

"first love is hard to forget"

that was what my first love told me

when i asked him about his first love.

yes, it is true

i never forget him no matter how many guys i dated

no matter how many times i flirted

no matter how hard i tried.

i just can't get him out of my mind.

i can't.

many people told me to move on

they didn't know it was hard.

they didn't know how hard i tried.

i know i was stupid to hold on to someone

who already threw me away

but i just can't stop falling in love with him

and i am trying not to

but it never worked anyway

and last few months,

i finally managed to stop calling and texting him

like a desperate whore,

but i could not hold it in.

i texted him yesterday.

"are you still busy?"

"izzaty, i have something i need to tell you"

"what? if it's gonna sting and hurt, tell it slowly"

"hmmm. i got engaged."

total fuckdom.

i off my phone.

i rolled into a ball and started crying

it was pain that all i could feel

it was sadness that haunts me

i cried all night long

and fell asleep after doa time subuh.

i was so tired

i was so tired of waiting and hoping

i am crushed

i am down.

Ya Allah,

protect my heart from falling in love

with someone who You did not plan for me.

please, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

amin :'(

loosen up!

everyone wants to be perfect.

but everyone knows that we can't!

the most perfect human ever lived

was our beloved RASULULLAH.

YES, WE HAVE TO TRY TO BE PERFECT.

but why so serious?

loosen up a bit.

she was too drowned in her own sadness 

that she can't see the bright thing that could happen.

she refuse to.

she denied everything.

and she was down, so down

that even i gave up

in persuading her.

STREESSS!

aku nak tolong kau.

tapi kau yang taknak tolong diri kau sendiri.

kau nampak yang kau fail.

kau tak nampak yang kau ada potential nak bangun balik.

all kau fikir was

I FAILED, I FAILED, I FAILED.

i disappointed my mom,

i should not fail.

FREAKING PERFECTIONIST!

aku tak tau lah apa orang lain rasa basal attitude macam ni

but for me, it is so frustrating

i feel like slapping her

to make her realise that once you failed,

it wasn't the end of the world.

and you are not an actress.

so stop acting like you are a drama queen.

i mean, i act like a drama queen,

but i don't take it seriously =..=

i don't overreact ALL the time

be positive dude.

breathe and let yourself see the possibilities

that might happen

if you weren't too absorbed in your failure

aku ni jenis yang tak suka take things seriously
hahaha. i am playful
childish
enjoy je keje.
but jangan ingat aku tak ada apa2 output nor input
eventhough aku enjoy je :)

hehh
loosen up. breathe
and pray for the best :)
i guarantee you'll feel good.

HOPE

i met him last year

knew him last year

and some time last year he kinda disappeared

he said that he needs to go,

to be alone.

i thought he was gnna commit suicide =..=

hehe.

but then yesterday he called jane.

he didnt have my number

since i changed my number :P

jane came and see me,

told me to call him back.

and i did.

"hello, who's this?"

and he said "whos THIS?"

"it's izzaty. who are you?"

"you are seriously izzaty shaima?"

"yeahh. why? who are you?"

"RAZI"

nuff said :D

i have been missing him like crazy

i was worried about him, last time

and when i already forgot about him

he came back.

hahaha. razi, LAME =.="

he went distant cause he has ADHD

he cant control himself.

it wasnt his fault.

eventhough it was kinda sad that he left,

i am still happy that he came back.

now i hope that he would get better

soon :)

i think i wanna marry him.

he is cute.

LMFAO!

razi, dont disappear again

i am still gonna be your friend

no matter how you behave :)

i love you.

get well soon, insyaAllah :D

PATIENCE :')

After a lot of un-stable-ness in my relationship,
i decided to make change it.
after i met nazirim, and after i heard what leiy said.

"stay lah lama2 dengan dia"

but nazirim suka moody.
mood swings dia lagi teruk dari aku
dia emo
dia suka marah
pastu tetiba baik
bila marah, suruh aku cari lain
bila aku cakap aku nk g carik lain
terus cakap sorry =.="
haha COMEL. :)

baguslah dapat orang emo
at least aku boleh control emotion aku
at least aku boleh belajar sabar
and baguslah dapat org suka marah
at least aku faham yang dia belum sayang aku
at least aku tahu aku still kena struggle
at least aku tahu aku tak patut letak hope

i stopped expecting,
it's better that way somehow :)

if aku boleh jadi the only one yang boleh sabar dengan kau,
mungkin one day kau boleh belajar sabar dgn aku :)

INSYA ALLAH :)

TEMERLOH

so, last saturday aku pegi temerloh.

for research project

aku research pasal cleft.

kat temerloh ada Cleft Symposium

so aku and ami pegi

under CLAPAM (cleft lip and palate association of Malaysia)

with puan zuraini who turned out to be an OGA

and her husband, Mr Zainal,

who turned out to be a MCOBA =.="

typical tkcian :P

sampai sana, we stayed at a homestay

kat kg. desa murni

serious tempat dia cantik gilaaa :)

ad i met new people.

kak nabilah

abang salman

'uncle sid'

hahaha

i had fun :D

but now kena struggle siapkan report semua

sabtu ni conference

wish me luck! :D

okkbai :D

RE: betrayal

kan aku dah cakap.

that junior baca blog aku.

internet is not a friend of mineee :(

hahaha.

but then, aku harap dia faham

apa yg aku try cakap kan.

but she got it wrongly.

as in, in a bad way.

adik, sorry

maybe salah aku coz cara aku sampaikan tu salah

but then again,

aku tulis kat blog bukan sebab

aku takde kawan nak cerita.

sebab blog aku ni takde pembaca pun, haha

so maybe betul lah aku forever alone :P

kalau ada pun maybe dalam satu dua je

tu pun tah siapa tah

so aku taknak lah cerita pasal kau kat manusia depan2.

nanti tokok tambah apemende semua kau susah.

and aku tulis dalam blog ni

bukan sebab aku takut nak fight depan2

tapi sebab kes kau tu antara kau dgn kwn kau tu je.

so buat apa aku nak fight dengan kau?

mmg takde kene mengena dengan aku

but aku tulis kat blog ni sebab,

aku dah cakap, i observe people.

and i share!

aku tak kisah lah hidup aku kena banned ke,

forever alone ke.

aku tulis dalam blog ni

sebab aku taknak share kat manusia

in the same time aku tak boleh simpan lama2 kat dalam

susah nanti terlepas.

and aku tak berniat nak betulkan hidup kau

aku just berkongsi.

you are a part of my life, she is a part of my life.

so basically, i am telling my readers

(kalau ada lah)

about my life.

aku mengaku hidup aku tunggang langgang

and aku takde hak nak masuk campur

dalam hidup kau

so, aku mintak maaf kalau aku buat kau marah

but niat aku cuma untuk berkongsi

what is happening in my life

what is happening around me

and aku tak faham kenapa kau marah sangat

dalam bahasa kasarnya, ni blog aku,

so suka hati aku lah nak tulis apa.

aku boleh cakap camtu.

but nanti lagi tambah gaduh pulak

aku tulis entry tu,

bukan untuk cari gaduh dgn kau

bukan untuk pangkah kau

just that aku perlu a place

(selain kawan2 yang hanya akan memburukkan keadaan)

to share.

and this has been the place i have always share everything

so kalau kau tak puas hati, tak payah lah baca

and kau update status kau pasal aku pun apa bezanya

hmmm. aku mintak maaf

i am just continuing what i have done

since dulu lagi.

aku mintak maaf.

BETRAYAL

okay. dah berhabuk blog ni.

sorry. have been so busy :P hehh. 

busy lah sangat =.=" haha

been doing my research, 

SAT (ohh, yes i got SAT, alhamdulillah)

trials lagi.. penat otak aku =.="

but i haven't stop doing the thing i like most,

observe.

i observe people.

ada lah certain people got freaked out :P

but i like observing people,

observing life.

observing the WORLD.

and lately a particular thing caught my eyes so many times.

BETRAYAL

ada junior aku sorang ni. named umm K.

i couldn't reveal her name due to my safety,

nanti kalau juniors aku terbaca blog ni,

mau mati aku kena sepak =.="

hahaha

K was betrayed by her best friend, Z.

Z used the reason "i cared about you, that's why i told the teachers"

BULLSHIT!!

okay fine, if you care about her THAT much, at least talk to her first.

tell her softly.

baru bagitau cikgu if dia taknak dengar cakap.

and kalau ye pun kau nak sangat bagi tau cikgu,

cakap lah benda yg betul

unsur tokok tambah hanya bakal menyusahkan kawan yang kau care tu.

jangan lah cakap dia hampir kena tangkap basah,

tp padahal dia just kena marah je.

mende nye tangkap basah?

kesian dia kau tau?

dia cerita kat kau everything,

SHE TRUSTED YOU

Z once said to me "kau tak payah ah weh cakap pasal kawan"

tapi perangai kau ni buat kau tak LAYAK cakap pasal kawan

kau makan kawan kau sendiri kot?

she trusted you and you betrayed her in return,

for the her sake?

kau budak pintar lah weh.

hal kawan kau ni pun kau tak boleh nak settle elok2 ke?

ke kau lemah sangat sampai kau tak mampu nak nasihat diri dia sendiri?

kau cakap buruk pasal dia,

perangai kau yang macam slooker tu tak nampak?

bersihkan jiwa kau.

baru pikir nak bersihkan jiwa orang lain.

from your action, you have committed few wrongdoings.

i don't wanna call it sin sebab i am not in the position to talk

about hukum hakam agama.

1) kau fitnah dia

2) kau tipu kat cikgu

3) kau aibkan dia

4) kau kecewakan hati dia

5) kau putuskan silaturahim

kau istighfar banyak2 adik oii :(

and this thing happened to me jugak. i was reported pregnant last year,

by my very own friend that i trusted.

she said she cared for me.

and she told the teacher i am pregnant? hehh.

kau bertaubat lah. aku ada dendam, tapi hati aku tak sebusuk hati kau.

aku takkan betray kawan2 aku, itu janji aku

aku akan protect diorang dengan cara yang terbaik bagi diorang.

tapi, kalau cara aku akan menyakiti diorang, aku takkan lakukannya.

buat apa aku bagitau cikgu?

kalau aku kawan dia, aku mesti boleh tolong dia.

selagi benda tu takde kene mengena dengan aku,

aku takkan masuk campur.

sebab aku takde hak dalam hidup dia.

susah nak faham apa aku cakap kan?

aku pun tak tau camne nak cakap

sebab aku tak boleh cerita banyak.

memalukan orang nanti.

kalau kena kat batang hidung korang, korang faham lah :P

hahahaha

cuma satu nasihat aku:

hilangkan kotoran di kain kau sebelum kau menegur cela kain orang lain.

ASTAGHFIRULLAH AL AZIM :)

repent before you stop breathing :)

selfish bitch!

all you ever did was thinking bout your self.

you, you, you!

aku penat lah weh dapat kawan camni.

last year dia back stab aku,

cakap aku pregnant bagai.

now kau back stab aku,

lagi teruk dari dia.

you intended to kick me out from SAT track if you had the chance?

why?

i wasn't that much of competition pun

selfish bitch!

i gave my everything when i comes to you!

i tolerate to your behavior more than any normal person could.

you asking me what did i ever do to you?

kau pegi date, aku ikut.

aku tunggu kau siap.

aku tunggu kau mandi.

when it was my date,

aku jugak yang tunggu kau.

aku jugak yang siap lagi awal.

macam it was your day pulak.

dah lah kau hina boyfriend aku.

the worst thing i ever said to your boyfriend is

"i hate you from taking her away from me"

kau tak payah nak lebih sangat lah.

cakap my man tak mampu lah, apa lah.

kau ingat boyfriend kau hebat sangat lah?

ni bukan pasal sayang boyfriend or what not

respectlah sikit.

respect aku, respect strangers =.="

respect me like i respect you.

you asking me what is it that i have done FOR you?

kau sakit aku jaga kau.

kau tak makan aku carikkan.

kau bangun lambat, aku yang perasan

aku yang suruh orang call kau.

aku yang, kalau mampu, teman kau lambat sama2.

aku yang kejut kau bila roommate kau buat tak tau.

wanna know how much i sacrificed for you?

kau sakitkan hati aku, aku biar je.

ada this one time, i called you time outing,

i was lost, and you were nowhere to be found, 

as you were walking with your favourite boyfriend tu kan.

i called, and called, and called

ada lah dalam 15 kali.

kau tak angkat.

i was scared, i was lost :(

and when i found you,

i didn't even show you how mad i was.

then, hari tu,

kau call aku, aku tak angkat.

kau jumpa aku kat cafe,

kau cakap

"you didn't answer your phone"

jeling, walk away.

*1 missed call*

SATU je weh!

a fucking SINGLE missed call!

aku yang call kau berbelas2 kali tu

kau tak pikir pulak marah aku tinggi mana!

fuck you.

seriously,

fuck you!

aku tak tunjuk pun kat kau aku marah kau.

even though the whole world knows that aku emo tahap apa =.="

shit lah kau. serious.

aku tak tau aku boleh pandang muka kau ke tak lepas ni.

give me time.

i'll consider your actions.

for the time being,

this is for you.

isn't he so cute :)

F.U.C.K Y.O.U!

@amirulash

lama tak tulis.

was kinda busy :)

ni pun memaksa diri menulis.

hahaha

well, heyya people! :D

so last saturday i went to the library,

for my first date with man :)

yes, we went to the library,

yes, it was our first date,

and yes, we studied :D

we are AWESOME!

hahaha.

i was fun, he was amazing :)

then we jalan2 at sevens.

it was crazy :)

nostalgic memories semua datang balik :)

i was once head girl here :D

suka gilaaa :)

and i got an album

NIGHTMARE-Avenged Sevenfold.

though aku takde lah suka a7x sangat pun.

but then i'll learn,

for him :)

looking forward meeting him, soon :D

let us stay together,

forever :D

i love you boo :D

thank you <3

baby boo :)

i met him back :)

and i love him.

nuff said :)

roses :D

it was my dream

to have a person

to give me a bouquet of roses

or sekuntum at the very least

before i turn 17.

yes, ROSES.

but nampaknya,

takkan lah dapat, kan?

esok dah nak 17.

dah besar dah.

dah lah single,

birthday time exam,

roses pun tak dapat :(

call me childish,

but i take my dreams seriously.

they are the reasons why i keep on living,

trying to survive,

and try to fall in love

even though it hurts so much.

and so i cried semalam

because she got a rose

from him

in my presence.

i feel like

i am not worth it

i no longer have any attractions on me.

my self-esteem dropped.

and i cried, cried and cried.

i was hurt.

all this while, she called me ugly and fat,

i know it was true, but it wasn't offensive.

because it came from her.

but i don't know why,

yesterday.

i had a sharp pang of ache in my heart.

when she tried to buat me 'melepet'.

who will understand?

and so i cried :'(

okay, this is not me crying. but whatever -.-

I AM SCARED O.O

it's exam week, peeps!

and i really wanna get a straight a's.

like, for the first time.

and to get it,

i have to;

1) STUDY

2) STUDY

3) STUDY

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

12894737623849354184764) STUDY!

well for some people,

study is a norm.

for me,

it is hard as hell.

you know in movies,

they study for three hours straight,

that's a lie.

no one can do that.

(tell me if you can)

and you know, in movies,

how hard they try to eat,

they can't,

and when they force themselves,

they will cry like a baby?

how they feel about eating,

that's how i feel about studying.

i tried so hard that i feel like i could've died.

but then, it is still so little of what i have done,

to be compared with my friends.

i cried. i wanted to get straight a's so bad.

there's a lot of high, HIGH, high expectations going around.

pressure, pressure =.="

okay, i know,

i gotta go study now. okkbai :(

OLD TIMES :)

smile :D

i miss these things.

if only NEVERLAND exists :')

NAKED =.="

kenapa you hot sangat?

tak boleh buruk sikit ke? =.="

sorry, it wasnt my intention.

i ternampak your photo.

sapa suruh you tak pakai baju o.o
melepet.

takut laaaaa lelaki shirtless ni :O

tergugat iman. :P

I. DON'T. LIKE. YOU. enuff said.

little creature,

that appear in my life.

just to make me more miserable.

how did you manage to be so

DISGUSTING?

yes, you.

AZREE SHAARI =.="

Little Friend

i barely know you.

but i feel that we have known each other

since forever.

hahahha :)

i dont know what to say.

just that.

i think i might have started to love you.

as a friend, okay?

thanks for semalam :D

AIMAN FITRY KHAIRUL ANNUAR.

camtu kan your name? =.="

ENGLISH? :D

ada orang cakap, bila diorang tengok my pictures,

they thought i would be someone yang tak boleh cakap

in english, AT ALL!

what do you think?

hahahahaha :D

SPEAK NOW

talk to me.

that's all i ask from you.

we've been together since form one,

i hope you can open up.

talk to me.

tell me your problems,

tell me when you are hurt.

tell me when you are confused.

search for my shoulder when you wanna cry.

find me when you wanna spill.

tell. talk.

i am stupid,

i am weak.

i cannot tell when you are hurt,

i cannot tell when you are confused.

i didn't know what you expect,

and i am always afraid,

that i might disappoint you.

i am scared

that i might hurt you

when i am supposed to be the one

that lighten you up.

i am sorry for not being able to be

the friend you should have.

i might not be able to say the right things.

i might not be able to do the right things.

i didn't know how to.

you didn't like to look fragile.

i don't wanna make you feel that way,

even if i know you are.

i wanna give you all you want.

i don't wanna hurt you.

but i end up doing so.

i am sorry.

i love you, sister.

i really do :')

otak takde otak?

band bubar

kelab music ditubuhkan.

i lost my jawatan, presiden band

which is also my dream,

sebab?

we dont have uniforms??????

we are not fashion designers, stupid!!!!

enuff said :)

SHAFIQ FARHAN :D

nah! kau naksangat kan aku tulis pasal kau :)

okay, let me tell you about paksha :)

he's my junior,

one of the juniors that i would like to share anything.

one of the person that i can trust,

the only person that can make me annoyed,

and yet aku tak boleh marah kau =.="

hahaha :D

one of the person that knows i like HA :)

adik, thanks :)

for always smiling when you see me,

making weird jokes,

making me laugh, and smile.

understanding me,

being a friend when no one is beside me.

okaaaayyyyy, aku dah jiwang

whatever it is, kau ada dalam hidup aku,

so kau important.

okay,dah, bye :)

IT'S JUST SO HARD :(

sha, awin and me always cry. as it is just so hard.

we dont want it to be like this.

especially me.

ibu has been blaming me for their divorce,

making it harder for me

i wasn't my fault! i was six.

every raya we have to choose, papa or ibu?

celebrating raya either both sides are hard.

there was this one raya when we decided to celebrate with papa

we went back to mama's (step mom) hometown at perak.

first raya, the whole family went to a studio to take family photos.

we got there and my step aunt said,

"you three should wait first. let OUR family take pictures first."

yep, that made it obvious that we are not family.

even papa didnt say a thing.

so we went out with our brand new clothes,

with the hope that raya would be nice crushed,

go to 7ELEVEN, had slurpee and waited till the session ends.

then we went back to the house,

the "forgive-and-forget" session started.

AGAIN! she did it again.

"you three cannot call my husband ayah long, you are not his nieces."

confirmed, we are not family.

we are hurt, but we didn't show it

not wanting their raya become as bad as ours.

we went raya with ibu too.

thank goodness abi's (step dad) family accept us.

but, of course, there is a problem.

NENEK (papa's mom) 

she will make a fuss the whole raya!

even if we raya with her, or if we not.

when we went to her house, during first raya,

leaving ibu behind,

she was happy, but not satisfied.

she never let us wear the baju raya ibu made for us,

always asking us to hurry up when we are calling ibu.

when we went to ibu's,

she would cry , beg or something like that,

making us feel bad,

making it even harder.

as if it wasnt hard enough that we have to choose!

as if we didnt feel bad enough to see people celebrating with both of their parents,

but we are missing one.

we cried, among us, we cried.

inside, we are still crying.

GOD, stay with us,

make us strong.

AMIN~

MINIONS! :D

they are sooooooo cute :)

try singing along :)

BA BA BA BABANANA BA BA BA BABANANA NA NA NA AHH POTATO NA AH AH BANANA AH AH TO GA LI NO PO TA TO NI GA NI BA LO BA NI KA NO JI GA~ BA BA BA BABANANA. YO PLANO HU LA PA NO NO TU MA BANANA LIKE A NUPI TALAMO BANANA BA BA POTATO HO HOOOOOO TO GA LI NO PO TA TO NI GA NI BA LO BA NI KA NO JI GA BA BA BA BABANANAAAAAAAAA (punch)

THIS IS SO DEEP =.=

this is so me. how did stacie orrico knows a lot bout me? haha :)

I'M BRAND NEW :)

i love this song. so much :)

You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in color
And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me
Think you've had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on, over you

You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You try to break me, but you see

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

[2x]
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

 :) yeay!! i am stronger :)

KESANTUNAN BAHASA =.="

bm hari ini,
cik atie ajar tentang
KESANTUNAN BAHASA.

okay, i know i have been abusing the language.
using improper words :P
hahahaha, sorry :')
so in class, i was kinda terasa -.-"
okay, i'll try to use a proper language, okay?
well, at least i use the correct language
not making you, my dear readers,
ada ke orang baca?
tak susah nak faham.

take a look at this.

 

 

whaaaaa? even i took thirty minutes to understand that =.="

hahahahaha :D

okay2, sorry.

but i totally despise people yang suka eja pelik2.

baik bahasa melayu, mahupun bahasa inggeris.

dia=dea/iyew

saya=sayew

kita=itew

girls=gurlz

friends=fwenz

let me tell you something,

THEY ARE NOT THE SAME!!!

can you spell properly

or are you retarded?

:)

ouh! i moved on :)

okay, bye :)

I BELIEVED :'(

he told me he was going to call,

so i waited.

but he didn't, and i didn't sleep, waiting.

then he said he was sorry and promised to call,

so i waited.

but he didn't, and i didn't sleep, waiting.

then he said he was so sorry and he asked me to believe him, he's gonna call,

so i waited.

but he didn't, and i didn't sleep, waiting.

then he said he is fucking sorry and he's gonna call after school

so i waited.

but he didn't, he forgot.

and i just realized he was never sorry,

he never cared to call,

he don't bother thinking how i felt,

while i stayed up three straight nights,

to wait for him

in case he wakes up in the middle of the night and remembered.

how can i be so stupid,

to think that he actually cared for me.

so stupid me.

and it hurts, a lot.

i am better off dead.

friends? :/

it's hard to smile, hard to breathe

please pick up you :'(

scared o.o

i am scared

that i would get heartbroken again.

i avoided feelings for a very long time.

until you came.

and i trusted you

you gave me hope again

you let me feel the feelings i have been missing

you let me be human again

that can love

and can be loved.

but WHY???

why did you take it away?

why did you hurt me

i thought by telling you my past

and you knowing my past

would make us stay forever.

i am hurt

and now i am scared again

TOO scared.

heartbroken, again.

tears, again.

i am tired.

and scared.

scared to put my trust again.

scared to have hopes again

my heart is broken into pieces

no,scratch that

it was in ashes

and you made the ashes fly everywhere.

making it harder to fix.

GOD, i am hurt

a lot

i am better off dead :'(

AL-FATIHAH :(

akif iskandar.

you are a very nice guy,

cheerful, happy.

a great friend.

aku tengah makan,

tetiba eqin call aku cakap 

"weh, akif dah takde. dia accident."

bergegar kepala aku.

my tears went out that instant.

school wouldn't be the same anymore without you mate.

Allah loves you more than us.

hope you and your parents placed in a great place beside HIM.

insyaAllah :)

PAPA! i love you so much :)

papa,

although we don't see each other much

and our conversations got awkward all the time

i want you to know that i love you so much

so much

you have been so patient with me

like seriously patient :)

because i caused a lot of trouble

that carved embarrassment to you

and to our family

i am so sorry

and thank you papa,

for always be there behind my back

and catching me when i fall.

i remembered that day

you went to see dr. melor

to back me up

i can see that you love me, kakak and adik so much

thanks papa.

before it is too late,

i want you to know that

me, kakak and adik  loves you

A LOT!

happy birthday papa, SHAMSUDIN HASHIM yang handsome :)

SOUL SISTER?

ibu pernah cakap;

you might be friends with her this year

you might not be next year.

but i love you so.

i'm sorry

so sorry

sorry for being so hard

sorry that my disabilities brings difficulties to you

sorry, if i am simply being my self brings

so much trouble to you

sorry.

29 february :)

oh! happy 29th February peeps! :)

see you next four years 29th :D

one direction :D

hwahwa. favourite song. ever.

here's the lyric version

AWESOOMEEEEE. nuff said :)

thanks DUDES :)

new people i met;

1. FAUZI MOHAMAD (pojie)

you are a nice guy to be friends with. thanks for making me laugh the other day :)

2. AIMAN FITRY (troy)

dude, eventho you dgn niesah all the time, it was a pleasure to meet you. thanks :)

3. HAMAN tak tau nak eja (sharos)

you are one sweet guy. thanks dude.

4. ASHRAAF DANIAL ZAKARIA (acap)

your name is last, but you are the most special one :)

thanks for making me comfortable with you

thanks for knowing how to make me smile

be my friend, okay?

stand strong.

special dedication to you;

HANISAH HOSSAIN :)

thanks for being my one and only true friend.

ilysfdm :)


AIMAN FITRY, i separated them.

FUCK YOU BITCHES :)

dear bitches,

here are some words i have for you.

bitch number 1,

you are one BIG, BLACK, UGLY backstabber.

i tried to be your friend

but you act like a bitch almost all the time.

sorry to call you a bitch,

but aku dah hilang respect kat kau as seorang manusia.

so you can go and die now

without you this world will be a better place

SERIOUSLY.

bitch number 2,

i never thot it would be YOU!

you said that bitch#1 is a big fat backstabber

turns out you are an exact copy of her

i will never forgive you for this.
i loved you so much
but it seems like you are happier to see my tears

bitch number 3,

you are one sweet girl

tapi kau cakap belakang pahal?

agak2 ah weh.

ktm dengan alza pun tak reti nak beza ke?

korang tiga orang gi mati lah, boleh?

sorry. i once loved you guys

but you ripped up my trust.

dah lah on the weekends

it was the best two days of my life time

naik je hari isnin,

korang ruin EVERYTHING

FUCK YOU BITCHES.

SORRY I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH :(

i gave you a wallet for your birthday.

tak mahal mana pun

brown, TROPICANA LIFE

memang tak sampai RM50 pun,

tapi i didnt have money for the rest of the month

sebab ibu bagi 50 je per month.

and i used everything to buy you the wallet

sorry i wasn't good enough to buy you a better one

right after you saw that gift, you said

"takde design yang lagi lawa ke?"

i'm hurt.

sorry i wasn't good enough in matching your taste

a year past

we broke up.

but i still want to keep in touch with you

because i love you too much

i realised that things will not be the same anymore.

sorry i wasn't good enough to make you happy

one morning, i called you

and asked, what do you want for your birthday

and asked about that wallet

you said you dah tak pakai dah that wallet

you said that maybe taste kita tak sama

you said wallet tu buruk and the design nampak murah

sorry i wasn't good enough to satisfy you

i am hurt.

very deeply hurt

i stopped loving you

i hate you

i hate you

sorry i wasn't good enough to ignore my heart

goodbye. i'm deleting you.

FOREVER.

H.A.H

H.A.H

is the initials of a name.

a name of a person

who stole my heart

like seriousleeehh.

tapi dia younger than me,

which makes me feel

that i am weird =.="

sorry lahh.

tapi dia hot,

baik,

etc.,etc.,etc. :)

albuuuuuuttttt :D

ALBERT POSIS <3<3<3

oh yeaaaa.

i like his songs.

shweeeeettt

why am i being so pondan today?

hahaha.

so, this is my favourite. :)

enjoyy. 

HOLLA!

She is just loving you.

Boy:I broke up with her. 

His Best Friend:What happened?

Boy:She’s just too much for me.... 

His Best Friend:What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy:Well, ...for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy:Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy:But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy:I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her.

His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy:Well, she..

His Best Friend:You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were           selfish. Are you proud?

Boy:I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?

His Best Friend:You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you.

and then he came back for her.

THAT’S what happened ♥

ARRGGHHHHH!

now, i wanna tell you something.

this happenned today.

ada lah these juniors,

they were walking pass through me,

and they laugh and walked

like i was not there.

gelak kuat hell.

bising shala =.="

dah lah aku yang kena make way for them

seriously rude.

pastu time lunch,

cafe sesak hell!

seriously i was out of breath.

dah lah makan lembap gell.

jalan pun lambat gila.

i was like

TRY WALKING FASTER, OR GET OUTTA MY WAY!

grrrr.. =.="

marah gell.

manners mana manners?

bieber fever

JUSTIN BIEBER

LOOK AT THAT.

how can i not fall in love with him?

he's sooooooooo cute :D

and talented too.

SEE??

cute as hell :)

haaaaaa.. my heart melts :P

awwww.. i love you too justin :)

READ THIS :D

you know a song is over played When your mom knows all the lyrics..

We met, we talked, we liked, we called, we texted, we dated, we committed, I loved, you cheated, we're done, you're deleted, I'm good!

This is how my week goes: Mooooonnnnnddaaaaaaaaay Tueeeesssdaaaaaaayyyyy Weeedddnnnesssdayyyyy Thursssssdaaaaaaaayyyyy FridaySaturdaySunday.

We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

*Walks upstairs.* "Why am I up here?!" *Walks downstairs.* "Oh now I remember... Shit."

Oh look, you're giving my middle finger a boner.

I'm mad for: always being nice, apologizing when I didn't do anything wrong, getting attached, & for making you a HUGE part of my life. -_-

there is no "I" in "team" but there is 3 U's in SHUT THE FUCK UP.

"I'm bringing sexy back!" ....bitch you're the reason it LEFT!

"Dude that song is old." "So is your mom, but you still listen to her."

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

"dammit I'm mad" spelled backwards is "dammit I'm mad."

That attractive face you pull; before you sneeze.

Dear Face Wash Commercials, Nobody Actually Splashes Their Face With Water Like That. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet -.-

Me a nerd? Haha no, I'm just making sure not to end up working with you at McDonalds.

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.

someone just texted me and asked "what does idk stand for? " i said " i dont know" she said "omg! nobody does!"

What starts with F and ends with UCK? THATS RIGHT! FIRETRUCK. Well what starts with P and ends with ORN? Thats Right Popcorn!

The 3 most common lies on the internet: 1) I have read and agreed to the terms of service. 2) Status: Offline. 3) I am over 18.

Lazy Rule 1436300228452: You didn't read all the numbers.

So I'm invisible to you now? That's cool. I've always wanted a superpower.

Instead of "lol" I put "lsimhbiwfefmtalol" Laughing silently in my head because it wasn't funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud

i was reading this stuff on twitter. made my day bright again :)