roses :D

it was my dream

to have a person

to give me a bouquet of roses

or sekuntum at the very least

before i turn 17.

yes, ROSES.

but nampaknya,

takkan lah dapat, kan?

esok dah nak 17.

dah besar dah.

dah lah single,

birthday time exam,

roses pun tak dapat :(

call me childish,

but i take my dreams seriously.

they are the reasons why i keep on living,

trying to survive,

and try to fall in love

even though it hurts so much.

and so i cried semalam

because she got a rose

from him

in my presence.

i feel like

i am not worth it

i no longer have any attractions on me.

my self-esteem dropped.

and i cried, cried and cried.

i was hurt.

all this while, she called me ugly and fat,

i know it was true, but it wasn't offensive.

because it came from her.

but i don't know why,

yesterday.

i had a sharp pang of ache in my heart.

when she tried to buat me 'melepet'.

who will understand?

and so i cried :'(

okay, this is not me crying. but whatever -.-