Lovestruck

i admit

i have been fooling around

with some guys to fix the heartbreak

and got myself hurt again

guess what?

i was never hurt AGAIN

it was never fixed

and that three months gap after the last guy,

was filled with me trying to pick up

the pieces of my heart,

glue them together

fix them, and encourage them to love again

yes, it was hard

super hard.

everyone can see how disturbed i was

emoshit was seriously out of control

i managed to rearrange the broken pieces

but it's fragile

there's no glue to it

there's nothing to make it stronger

it was hard to remain strong

i held them together

hoping that someone would

bring the gam gajah

and make them stronger than ever

and in the darkness of the night,

i would roll into a ball

silently wishing for one person

to come and and tell that everything is gonna be fine

one person,

one and only

HIM

and now that the prayers are answered.

hit with unreal words,

the bliss left me in wonder

is this real?

is this true?

how long can we last?

oh yes, i do hope for as long as we could

we promised we'll be together

through thick and thin

we'll work things out if anything goes wrong

the best kind of love is the kind

that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more.

but i am in fear.

i am afraid.

i want to reach for more

but i am terrified.

scared that i might screw up

scared that i might hurt myself again

afraid that i will lose him in the next step

and most of all,

terrified that i will hurt him

look, i love him no doubt

i want to stay with him as long as i live

and i want this to be the best

yes, you may have seen this sentence

in a lot of other posts of mine

but this is different

you should see how he changed me

i am a lot merrier

i am a lot happier

i am no longer the person that smiles

just to hide the pain

 i am no longer the girl

who plays all the time

just to forget how broken the heart is

this is purely love

nemo,

please have trust in me

i'll try to be the best thing ever happened to you

just like how you were the light

when the darkness surrounds me

i love you.

your childish, immature girlfriend,

Izzaty Shaima